Today I see things that remind me of you. Even this cool morning reminds of the pleasant walks we took when we weren't supposed. I remember you teaching me something in the language we both speak. It was a way of addressing someone you respect.. usually someone older.
Your probably the last person that I'll reconnect if I ever stumble out of this. Probably because you're the person I'm most afraid to talk to. The one who's rejection I fear the most. I can't believes it's been so long since I've seen your sweet Smiling face. The trees remind of your dark brown eyes and flowing hair. When you would sometimes look at me resentfully till I would ask why and you'd just laugh and say you want to see what would happen.
I Remember the chocolate we would share it was the sweetest chocolate I had ever had. Now chocolate only seems bitter without you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
I write this blog to remember the things I mean to forget. To release the memories I find too painful to live with inside. I also write this blog to keep part of my conscious self here in the Tangible world when I ascend to the ethereal one.
When I die I hope that it be at a point in my life were I will not know anyone enough to cause grief.. I don't see my future ridden with love but if it does have any essence of it I don't want to leave it behind to grieve but instead leave here to be greeted by it.
Though if things turn out differently then those who do care about me can look back to this if they need closure or comfort. I would want those people to know that I'm not really gone and that they should not linger on the thought of me but instead move on and find new lives to be touched by or be a light in that persons life.
Enough about Yin, Lets talk about Yang.. Life, For there could be no death without life and vice versa, or at least a good life (overpopulation would make life unbearable.)
My life now is one probably best described an an older person's life with no one left but the unknown world. loneliness is sometimes stifling but I have things to occupy me away from the dark emptiness. This for example..or maybe this is a reminder, if I still had the Life I had left behind I probably would never had considered needing these bits on you're computer screen that comprised together to make words that like sweet honey make my life better and yet keep me stuck together and trapped like a Cocoon that will stay dormant forever.
I guess I shall Leave you on that Melancholy note.
When I die I hope that it be at a point in my life were I will not know anyone enough to cause grief.. I don't see my future ridden with love but if it does have any essence of it I don't want to leave it behind to grieve but instead leave here to be greeted by it.
Enough about Yin, Lets talk about Yang.. Life, For there could be no death without life and vice versa, or at least a good life (overpopulation would make life unbearable.)
My life now is one probably best described an an older person's life with no one left but the unknown world. loneliness is sometimes stifling but I have things to occupy me away from the dark emptiness. This for example..or maybe this is a reminder, if I still had the Life I had left behind I probably would never had considered needing these bits on you're computer screen that comprised together to make words that like sweet honey make my life better and yet keep me stuck together and trapped like a Cocoon that will stay dormant forever.
I guess I shall Leave you on that Melancholy note.
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